On the importance of initiation ceremony


Initiation means to start, to become part of, to be admitted as a member of a group, to be given secret knowledge, and to have power or right to take action as part of that group.
Initiation ceremony is the marker of this start or the becoming part of the group, the place where the secret knowledge is passed on and the one being initiated becomes marked as, is witnessed as, and celebrated for the change that has started, the group they have become a part of, and the responsibilities that come with that belonging.

The importance of Initiation ceremonies as markers of rite of passage in life and as recognition of the skills, responsibility and age of the individual within the community has always been important and understood. It is part of our healthy psychological development, of the archetypical journey into maturity we as souls individually and collectively all must under take.

Within the field of biological child development, the clearly defined stages of maturity are understood and the shifts where the natural focus of the child is directed, seen. In many human societies around the world initiation is still very much part of the fabric of community and family life. Unfortunately in our Western societies we have mostly lost these important healthy markers of the change of energy of the body and the development of the soul.

Initiations are the expression of the collective recognition of these stages of development. In tribal communities a baby is welcomed with a naming ceremony; an opportunity for the blessing and welcoming of the new being, and the recognition and commitment to support the new parents in their role by the wider family and community circle.
At around 7 years of age, the stage of leaving small childhood, when the focus of the child shifts from the mother to the father, this rite of passage is marked with a 'Boyhood or Maidenhood ' ceremony in which the child is celebrated. the young person is told about the sacredness of their body and being and the ceremony offers space for the commitment of the family and community to help and guide the child in the exploration of who they are safely. The child ceremonially leaves behind the baby child hood and takes on a responsibility which contributes to the wellbeing and running of the family/community (a job of their choice for which they are now responsible).
At around 14, when the child becomes a young person whose focus shifts from the mother/father to the mentor, a youth initiation would be held which marks the young person's right to now sit in the women's or men's house, to listen and learn and start to contribute to adult life. the youth would have chosen or been given a mentor, the one who would have been part of the wider tribal community and who would have guided this next stage of the young persons development and helped him or her step into the responsibility of being a young adult. In today's distorted society, there are no mentors, and so peer groups or gangs of equally immature youngsters have taken the place of the wise elder the young person would have chosen.

In our modern life, there is no initiation ceremony to mark the changes in the body and being of the young person, no community to hold the process, to give the secret teachings or provide the mentors, there is instead confusion as to what their role should be. Not only do they receive a whole lot of mixed messages, from not being allowed the privileges of belonging to the adult world but having to behave in a responsible manner, to being almost forced into a prolonged childhood of lack of responsibility and lack of nurturing and trust in their ability to take on further responsibility and freedom. School systems are a strong example of how the discord of messages at this age is delivered. No wonder there is rebellion or 'zoning out', or the reckless experimentation with forbidden behaviour or substances, the seeking for identity and belonging amongst peer groups, etc that many young people experience.

For girls there is at leased the physical mark of entering young adulthood in the form of Menarche (first menstruation), which can come at any time between the ages of 8 to 17 within the normal biological range. Unfortunately, there is no preparation of any real kind to the deeper meanings of the start of this journey into womenhood, nor a healthy open attitude around how to hold and celebrate the Menarche itself. The loss of mentors as the wise women circles of old contribute strongly to the lack of maturity in women we see in our society today; the lack of confidence and trust in the beautiful wisdom of the female body and energetic flow, which leads to the stunted flight of the individual throughout their lives.

For boys entering this stage of young adulthood the situation is even more bleak. There is no longer any honouring or marking of their changing energy and physical body, no responsibility to become theirs as they proof themselves worthy of the requirements of the community: a healthy way to channel their energy and gifts. The school exam has taken the place of the vision quest, the 'mark of the man' replaced by the latest fashion statement of discontent. The feelings of lack of respect, understanding and total absence of the places of actually being appreciated for who they are which most young people experience, are a sad reminder of how we as societies miss this precious resource and opportunity to enhance the whole of the community. Instead we have the self perpetuating conditions which lead to immature masculinity/femininity seeking and finding outlet in the undesirable behavioural expressions of the distortions of patriarchy.

It is time to re-address these issues, to reclaim and newly create meaningful markers of rites of passage, to remember the old ways of initiation ceremony which are an integral part of our psyche and our make up as human beings, and make them applicable to the here and now of our times.

It is time to re-learn how to hold initiation ceremony for our own inner immature masculine and feminine and for our young people desperately asking for this guidance in our communities. Lets initiate a new way, lets start initiating our young people as valued, recognised members of our society.

Katinka Soetens

Ejaculation control and the movement of the Universe

In my work as sexual healer I am gifted with many moments of beauty, deep connection to source and insights that seem worth sharing from time to time.

In this blog, I’d like to speak from the place of intuition, from our ancient body wisdom, from the place of remembering the energetic flows of our body and honouring our aliveness as sexual.

Life energy is sexual energy, being alive is an intensely erotic experience. Through our senses we connect and interact within the body and in all our interaction, reaction, exchange and response to all that is outside of our physical body. All our senses are the interface between our ‘land’ and the rest of the universe, and the place where the Devine manifest into recognizable being within us.

As a woman, I am privileged to work with men willing to journey into exploring greater authenticity, healing and ownership of their life force, their core masculinity and their sexual energy.

One of the elements in this, as well as the work of many sexual awareness and consciousness paths, is the dis-entanglement of the association of orgasm and ejaculation in men. The two are not the same. This is common knowledge in many places in the world, but in the West we are only just re-awakening to this fact.

For me, in essence, this un-coupling is a practice in presence, a letting go of the drive to chase arousal, and instead surrender to the expression of the flow of erotic, alive, sensual, sexual energy in the body.

As we in our society haven’t got the advantage of an upbringing or a culture in which this is a natural part of sexual exploration and initiation, the unlearning of the habit to ejaculate at the same time (or around the time) of orgasm can take considerable effort and dedication.

The gains are well worth it of course, and a relaxing into the ecstatic state which expands us as humans beyond our normal experience of who we are as beings, one of the great gateways into meeting and experiencing the Devine, is re-opened.

The great wellbeing, often experienced as bliss resulting from this expanding, answers a deep longing, which, when unmet, manifests as a dissatisfaction, a hunger, a restless search for the filling of the place of lack with something from the outside, be it pleasure, possessions, new romance, drugs or other addictions.

The sacred space that flows in our body when we listen, when we follow and are in tune with our life energy, which is sexual, brings us into experiencing a deep home coming, a state of being which is the opposite of doing; no goal, no need, a fullness which nourishes the body and radiates out peacefully, with all the benefits this brings to us, our relationships and to life on the planet.

Because our sexual instincts are so wonderfully primal (part of our survival impulses), and because we are habitual beings, it is often at a certain point in the awakening of consciousness in men (often triggered by a crisis of the soul), that it is no longer possible to hide the patterns of wounding in the expression of their sexuality, and this journey, which can look differently for different people, starts in a new, more profound way.

There is now greater understanding, through the findings of modern science, around the addictive effects of the hormones released by ejaculation, in particular what the effects of dopamine in the brain chemistry are and which patterns are therefore set in motion.

These addiction patterns, in tandem with our habitual nature, create a hard habit to break. What this means is, that anything we do, e.g. at the time of orgasm, becomes associated. For example, if we chewed instead of ejaculated when orgasm is reached, we’d have to chew each time we came.

At the same time, it is also becoming more clearly into consciousness how, in the relationship patterns between men and women, ejaculation is drawn unconsciously by women: a power game of the sub-conscious layers of our relating. The unmet places and unspoken patterns in a relationship often find their only outlet in sex, which is why many relationship problems manifest as sexual dis-satisfaction or dis-function.

And so the scene is set.

Women have unlearned how to hold the tender beautiful soft glide into landing after a man orgasms (and/or ejaculates): we can no longer feel his wave and guide him into surrendering to the flow in his body and full incorporation of the energetic field. Men follow their addiction and miss the gentle expansion into riding the orgasmic wave of woman to their own multi orgasmic bliss. Men and women have become goal and performance driven sex engines, seeking always ‘more’ in response to the deep hunger for fulfillment which is fed by endless media stories of how to ‘do it’ better or more adventurously.

Always driving the chase of the arousal, of the excitement in the body, and the tightening of energy around that in the body, which sure enough will result in an increase in the intensity of experience in the moment. It also re-creates the need for greater intensity the next time as the numbing of tissues and subtle energy bodies continues. So, caught in a perpetual loop, what do we do to be free?

The skills and practices necessary to re-learn how to surrender to your essence and to be free from the addiction of chasing your arousal and instead be fully present, is an essential and, at the same time, simple process. For men wanting to live more consciously and in a greater state of presence, ejaculation control is an important part of that journey.

There are many ways to explore this field, Tantra and Toa-ist practices and meditations being the most obvious.

However, what I am seeing is the risk of these essential skills becoming the next state of doing, again, removing the man from the place of experiencing his state of being. The very word: ‘Ejaculation Control’ holds the key to this contradiction in terms.  Conscious ejaculation would be my preferred terminology, though still it implies more of a state of ‘doing’ rather then a ‘being present with’.

There are certainly places where ‘never ejaculate’, or only do so when wanting to pro-create, is not advocated. Instead the learning is to be conscious around your ejaculation, to choose it and fully enjoy the flight, including the landing (which can take many hours).

What I am finding is that men who have re-trained themselves to dis-associate ejaculation from orgasm might have a period of time of experiencing their ejaculation as less powerful then before. There is good medical evidence confirming this experience around a weakening of the muscle tissues in and around the prostrate/urethral sponge if ejaculation is withheld over a prolonged period of time.

There is also anecdotal evidence of pain or tension in the testicles experienced by men practicing non-ejaculation orgasm, particularly when doing so by themselves. Perhaps the old myth of ‘Blue Balls’ holds some truth?

In my experience there is a correlation between the inner clitoric tissues in the deeper layers of a woman’s body, especially where these meet and surround the urethral sponge and this tension or pain in the testis.

In a woman, a build up of un-released energy in these tissues, (energy which is orgasmic, and which often, though not always, releases as ejaculation in women) leads to urinal tract irritation or even infection. It is of little surprise to me then that, if the erotic energy is not circulated in the body and released from the ‘storage tissues’, irritation, pain or other problems may arise.

A man’s balls are highly sensitive energetic receptors and express feelings; they are cyclical in nature and in fact very subtly in tune with the ovaries of the women in the life of the individual man. Testicals are trying to tell us something about the inner emotional landscape and experiences the individual is having. They have a strong voice of wisdom in the body and, like the yoni in women, carry the emotional memory of wounding. Most men are cut off from the energy and power of their balls in one way or another. No wonder pain is often experienced in them for no apparent medical reason.

Actually, when I connect to a man’s balls, from the fullness of my womb space, radiating the ovarian energy field, which is of a star-like quality and full of life force, what I meet is a swirling energy, a deep pulse which feels like the energy of that which moves the stars.

The energy with spins the universe lives in the balls of men.

This energy is both stillness and motion, it is not to be dammed in or contained, it is meant to spin, circulate, expand and contract. It resonates with the great pulse of the universal: in and out breath which spins the cosmos.

I am in awe of this beauty, this power, and feel the delicious dancing of my star-light energy field in recognition.

In deep honouring of what I perceive as truth in my body, I’d like to offer this finding as an invitation into deeper exploration of who we are in the body, and to be careful with the delicate energy field of the balls, which includes ejaculation or ‘injeculation’ (where the energetically absorption as supposed to expulsion occurs). I’d like to hold space for the exploration of the releasing of patterns and the full honouring of the gift that is the sexual dance between men and women, help the relearning of our magic body wisdom, to facilitate and honour relaxing into the orgasmic wave whether including ejaculation or not.

As with the reclaiming and re-discovery work of the beautiful energetic dance in a female body, there is much to be discovered for men, and a greater tenderness both with them selves (inner) and in relationships (outer) with their balls, including listening to the deep wisdom of ejaculation, is required in the healthy evolution of the expression of our sexual energy.

Why Priestessing in far away lands?

Sometimes one hears via via that the work you do, or the reasons for why you bring your gifts, are called into question by those who don't actually voice the, quite often perfectly justified, question for clarification. I am always grateful for those who do express the secret whispers that otherwise fester, those who ask into the open that which is hidden behind our backs.

It is part of being a priestess of the Goddess that you stand up an out for what you believe, for what you walk, even if it means you are obviously marked as different by this, or open yourself to projection and critique.

Recently this has come up for me around the new Priestess of Old Europe training in the Czech Republic. It is of course challenging in many ways to bring Goddess work and teachings to other lands, and even though mostly I love it and find such connection and warm welcome in the great co-operation and mutual appreciation, it is perhaps good to clarify where i'm coming from when, for example, teaching a Priestess training and a Goddess Wheel in a land where i do not live.

The year long Priestess of Old Europe Training is a unique opportunity for working with a Goddess wheel of the Czech Republic; the Wheel of Libuse, centre Goddess of that land and people. It will start in a couple of weeks and is co-taught between myself and Lila Khousnoutdinova, with the assistance of Katka Kramolisova. We are excited and fully booked out (with a waiting list) for this Priestess training of the Lands of Old Europe, cradle of all European Goddess cultures, a journey which is a returning to source through the reclaimed Celtic Goddess wheel of Avalon.

In essence what is at the center and important to understand is that Goddess manifests in the form we recognize as Her in all Her aspects, at the interface of land and people….not people born of the land, but a part of, connected to. Like our long-ago nomadic ancestors, the voice of Goddess speaks to us where ever we may go.

The question is there for not one of who is of which nationality, but how we connect to Her as She speaks and expresses to us, how do we open to hear/feel/see Her, rather then a case of who has ownership of Goddess. The teachings of the Lady of Avalon and of Rhiannon hold universal keys to how to open and connect to Her vibration, to Her wisdom and presence, and initiative and well-worn practices of cultivating the skills to hold that presence.

In my opinion, Old Europe is the seed place of all the Goddess cultures of Europe; there are strong connections between the Deities of the Celtic people and the Deities of central Europe, as there are all over the whole of Europe and in fact all over the world.

This is why a template such as the one we have developed and are living in Avalon, works in many places, as a map to finding our way back to Her source. It is the same but different all over the world!

Personally I feel very connected to the land that is called the Czech Republic, and also to Slovakia, as I also do to Nordic lands, Mediterranean lands, edge places, wild lands and seashores.

I do not live in all those places, however 'at home' i may feel there, but I enjoy meeting and talking with people who do and share the sacred places they have knowledge of, the ceremonies, the language-sounds, the stories as well as finding my own connection to Her and how She shows Herself to me in those places…it fascinates and delights me…it is so rich, such an enrichment of both of our cultures/traditions to share like this, to learn and open with each other into what Her energy is in different places.

For me, Prague is a city dripping with Goddess, mostly unseen by those who live there. The river Vltava is a Deity, a Great Goddess, whom I always visit when lucky enough to be there to celebrate/honour Her of the Flowing Waters, no matter how short my visit, Her energy is amazing.

I do not pretend to know the faces or names or stories of all the Czech Goddesses, but nor, in my experience, do those who live and work in circle on those lands. I can feel Her and see Her on Her land and hear Her in the names and stories that are all around, and in the resonances of connection in the archetypes of the goddesses of my wheel, but so can anyone who cares to look and listen. I am as qualified as anyone who walks in service to Her of 10.000 names to re-find Her where ever I go, and I do know how to find and reconnect to, honour, serve and remember Her.

I also know how to hold space and create places of deepening into Her mysteries for others to experience, as anyone who’s ever been to any of my workshops will tell you. This is what I shall be bringing to the Priestess of old Europe training, my unique priestessing skills. These are, where ever I go, based on the teachings of the Lady of Avalon and of Rhiannon, Lady of Love, Goddesses I work with personally and intimately, both Mirror Goddesses, Goddesses of the Mysteries and of Transformation.

The format of the wheel of Avalon, the Wheel of BridgetAnna as reclaimed by Kathy Jones, has been taken all over the world and used as a blueprint for the creation of Goddess wheels in places as diverse as Argentina, Germany, Spain, California, Holland, Sweden and South Africa to name but a few.

This then is what I am essentially bringing: a roadmap, based on the sound and profound teachings of Avalon and the Wheel of the Celtic Goddesses, and a deeply intuitive wisdom and guided connection to newly interpreted ancestral ways and ceremony, which open the gateways into remembering Her, into reclaiming or even inventing Her names, into the practices of what it takes to be Her priestess.…

This is what I’ve brought to Goddess women groups in Prague 5 years ago, when we re-found A (not THE) Goddess wheel of the Czech lands, of Old Europe, and this May 2012, the same process powerfully and movingly was brought to Slovakia, which now has an amazingly rich Goddess wheel with which women work, both in Her lands where Her names are called and sung again, and in other temples and lands, like the one here in Glastonbury, when we weave the web of connections between the lands and people (Her Lands and People) in connection and support, inclusivity and sisterhood.

To be Her priestess takes skill, practice, surrender, dedication and a particular calling, which, as far as I am aware, does not have a ‘school’ or place of learning in the Czech Republic or in any of the other countries with broken indigenous traditions, where, before the Avalonean spirals and priestess training, there was no remembered way of training into this life-path way. This November, Lilia and myself will be bringing some of the teachings and techniques of how to reclaim and relearn priestessing skills. These are not the only way, but they are a unique way, and they are not presently held by anyone else in the lands of Old Europe.

I have a challenge for those who question what I bring to Prague or what the motives of my priestess work is, and who do not contact me directly to ask:

Why is it that the names of the Goddesses of the Czech lands are not known to the women who seek Her there? Where is Her wheel? Where are Her priestesses? Where is Her sacred knowledge practiced openly, Her ways taught? Or why isn’t it? despite many years of women’s circles? There certainly is a deep longing and a big demand. This is a question, not an accusation. Much deep and beautiful work has been done and is being networked between all of us who love Goddess in all Her lands and all Her faces, and this is a great mutual joy and privilege.

I am not saying that the priestess path is for everyone, there are many ways to serve the Devine and to reclaim and connect to Goddess, but for those who do feel called to this path, in lands where it is not already held by those who have reclaimed the ways of priestessing, the Priestess of Avalon training teachings and it’s blue print of finding local Goddess wheels and working with Her seasonal aspects and energies, is an amazing gift and gateway.

The invitation of the training I am bringing and have designed is to co-create Her wheel, to bring the stories (in other words, apart from what She has shown /given me, I do not know what those are in completeness), to sit in circle to remember and breath back the sacred names of the Goddesses of Old Europe, and to practice and teach Priestessing! 

This I do know and live and have as my own soul-path practice and that is my joy and delight, both to walk and to share. For me, in the Czech Republic this work started 5 years ago, by invitation, now it is taking the next step into becoming grounded into a year long practice in Prague, which will, hopefully, blossom out from there all over Her lands.

Blessed Be

Katinka

Today, as this land lies in amber and bronze and hears old copper toning deep into bone and stone, while in silence the great letting go of leaf-stars release into the dreaming time, promises and memories of sunshine, rain and wild wind-dancing.

Feel the slowing down, slowing under, slowing in, under heavy grey skies full of dampness, covering richness into safe hiding. 

Woodsmoke tangs the drizzling darkness, and a dusting of small yellow hand-shaped leaves wave on the windscreen of the parked cars.

See these flashes of red in hedges and trees? Reminders of the mystery; that which we seek is within. 

And soul; red thread, way-shower, marker of source and returning, spins in and out of this labyrinthal journey, which manifests through us in all the beauty of the flaming land and in our own burning colours of desire and longing for creativity

Weave! Create into being: whispering deep in us, waiting to display a triumph of beauty only possible to uniquely manifest through us, in this place and moment, if only we follow our joy, if only we believe our dreaming, if only we remember our source, answer to the pull of our power, and hear the calling of our destiny guiding us: 

Follow your dreams, make them happen, SHINE! Dance Destiny into becoming, BE who you actually are, leap through the fear of your own great beacon.....

before the light of life leaves but the last glow of twilight shimmering on the horizon and  opportunity fails to dawn into the promised flow of the East.

Healthy Love: First weekend of this year’s Priestess of Rhiannon Training

Tonight I am humbled by the courage and passion of women wanting to create, open up to, and radiate Healthy Love. In them self, in their body’s vibration, in their relationships, in all that they create in the world.

It is an energy the world very badly needs more of: Healthy Love is the gift of Rhiannon and requires one to fearlessly work on one's issues. Healthy Love is for those women and men with enough self awareness, sensuality and bright heart aliveness to dare to step out from the relative comfort of staying numb, of the sluggish fear-based life that comes with dis-owning the gifts of our wounding and joys, and hiding in avoidance.

We are half way through our first weekend of this year's journey deeper into presence with Rhiannon, Goddess of Love, reclaiming the sacred sexual priestess; 15 women, having heard the ancient calling singing in their being, gather to begin this exploration into themselves and the Path of Love.

During this experiential training we explore the archetype of the Sacred Sexual Priestess as wisdom keeper and vessel for sacred presence on Earth: one who walks the Path of Love.
To be a Priestess of the Goddess is to serve the Devine Feminine in the way She calls you to. For me, this is a public, a social, as well as a private role and practise. It requires that you work on your self so that you will be able to hold and create sacred space in which others may experience Her energy, may feel Her presence, may touch Her face, be touched by Her love, and hear Her words. It requires you to become an edge-dancer, one who steps beyond their resistances while holding their boundaries healthy. It asks you to keep honing the skills needed to touch and shine your core / source energy, to become a vessel for Goddess to move through.
To be a clear vessel does not mean you disappear, neither out of your body nor out of the way, it means that you are more fully present, more truly you: the unique potential for the Devine to manifest through.

If Love is the offering life makes back to life itself, and life is erotic, juicy, full on, the total experience of ‘aliveness’ our soul is choosing, then being alive in a body is sexual by it’s very nature. This experience of aliveness can be very ecstatic, a doorway to direct connection with the source, with the Devine, which softens everything into compassion and love.

Rhiannon teaches healthy and respectful love, which comes from a sense of self awareness, sexual awakeness and self confidence, an experience of the truth of our loving nature and essential lovability, and a  rootedness into our core essence, which for us women is Goddess within. She holds a clear mirror, not just to reflect Her beauty, Her love manifested, onto all who look into Her glass, but to illuminate the places where we are not yet fully open to Her flow and energy.

Those of us drawn to the teachings of Rhiannon’s Path of Love, are asked to become conscious of what we co-create, to look into Her mirror, to see our self as the source of our inner and outer experiences in love. We need to recognize patterns and conditionings, and choose to create different experiences to the patterns of the past. We can re-set the blue-print, re-write the rule book, and let the love of Rhiannon transform us into who we actually are. Moving into freedom away from 'owning' and 'power over', the stories that blame and shame: blame stunts development, shame shuns our shine. We determine to move into a place of truly 'belonging', and own our shadow and our power. The later often holds far more fear then the first and takes a strong sisterhood, a re-finding of how to be in circle in non-patriarchal ways, to hold and create the safety needed to explore this 'wild landscape'.

The path of a Priestess of Rhiannon is a journey in which we look hard at the ways in which we perpetrate and participate the patterns of patriarchy: the ways of ‘power over’. Rather then focus on what ‘they are doing’ or ‘what they did’, we hunt the shadow of our wounding, especially in relationship, to find where and how we are hiding from our true power: the power with (within). Owning what you see in the mirror of your love relationships is the first step to transforming who you are in those relationships. Rhiannon, Goddess of Love, asks us to develop our selves actively! To do the work, stop hiding and to surrender to Her presence.

It is a pleasure, honour and privilege to hold the space and follow Her guidance on this training. Thank you Rhiannon, I am so grateful for all that You bring us!

"Beloved Rhiannon, Thank You for my life, for my body and for all the love that is within and all around me. May my eyes choose to see the good, my ears hear the truth beneath. May my hands manifests Your beauty, my voice be healing in action. My dance, Your energy-in-motion. Allow my heart to be the drum of love in this world. May my feet be rooted in Your guidance, holding healthy boundaries strong and may my body be Your mirror for meeting and honoring presence while I feel and surrender to Your flow. Rhiannon, let my mind be a gateway for Your blessings of Love so I may know and walk Your ways."

Blessed Be.

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More photos from Katinka Soetens

First Blog attempt

I'm trying out what it is to Blog for the first time today... all a little strange and somehow daunting.
Watch this space for what ever the creative flow may bring me to share

re-posting something i wrote a couple of weeks back while the rain washes grey over the land today...
just to see how this works. Blessings

Autumn grace: The beauty of sunshine on my skin in the garden, warming into my body, as i open to this gift of the gentle light, the mature Beloved; 
This is a deep embrace between old lovers, who know, with slow smiles, the gifts of being held by love, not for any reason or goal, but just because it is, without need for anything as a result, such is this sun's caress...
Not awakening seeds or opening buds, not intoxicating the air with the releasing scent of flowers reaching for it's source, but a gentle gift of love....
Saying: 'remember me, in your time of darkness, when all feels lost and without purpose and you feel i will not ever return into the fullness of your life,...fear not: onto your skin I write this promise with the fiery kiss of my love light....I will hold you in my arms, shelter you warm against my heart, in the safe embrace of my presence, while the land prepares for sleep and the colours flame out'.